


Adventures in Amortentia

by MissTaken4Mad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amortentia AU, F/F, Femslash, Gay as hell, Hogwarts AU, Oneshot, The Cliche Amortentia Fic, did I mention it's gay, fluff abounds, it's really gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTaken4Mad/pseuds/MissTaken4Mad
Summary: The Hogwarts AU nobody asked for. When Professor Quartz decides to teach a lesson on Amortentia, the results are...well, fairly predictable, actually.





	Adventures in Amortentia

“Can anyone give me the name of this potion?”

 

Lapis Lazuli stared unseeingly at Professor Quartz, her cheek pressed to her fist, elbow balanced on the table.

 

She knew the name of it, of course. It had been obvious since before she’d taken her first step into the room. She didn’t need the mother-of-pearl sheen or the spiraling steam to tell her that the cauldron at the front of the room was filled with Amortentia. The overpowering smell of parchment, grass and off-brand shampoo had hit her like a brick wall the second she’d entered the hallway to the Potions classroom, in the dungeons beneath the castle.

 

She glanced subtly, seemingly uninterestedly at her classmates around her, and could tell that the Amortentia was having an effect on many of them, all to different extents. Amethyst Rivera, a loud-mouthed Gryffindor who had become Lapis’ friend through sheer stubbornness, was uncharacteristically quiet, her caramel cheeks a shade darker than usual as her eyes flicked tellingly toward Quartz’s aide, Ravenclaw and Head Girl Pearl Blanche, a tall strawberry-blonde who, in turn, was staring doe-eyed at Professor Quartz herself. Beside her, her fellow Gryffindor and captain of the house Quidditch team, Garnet Jones, was looking as completely unfazed by the Amortentia as she was by everything else.

 

On the opposite side of the room, a sweet Hufflepuff named Steven Universe, whom Lapis was particularly fond of, was blushing furiously next to his equally flushed best friend, and Lapis’ fellow Ravenclaw, Connie Maheswaran, while well-known and infamous Slytherin playgirl, Aquamarine Edwards, was sitting back and smirking beside her partner, a large but quiet Hufflepuff named Topaz Fletcher.

 

“Anyone?” Quartz repeated, still wearing that warm, loving smile that kind of irritated Lapis.

 

A short arm hesitantly rose from the first row, and Lapis’ eyes flitted skyward. Honestly, she was surprised it had taken her this long.

 

“A-Amortentia,” came the somewhat nasal voice of Peridot Diamond. “The closest thing to a love potion that exists. It smells different to each person, based on what…attracts them.”

 

Lapis’ gaze was inexplicably drawn to the small, messy-haired blonde, and she found that Peridot was blushing rather badly as Quartz beamed at her response. She noted that the usually outspoken Slytherin had not volunteered what she herself smelled.

 

“Correct!” she proclaimed. “Yes, this is indeed Amortentia, and as Miss Diamond has informed us, it does take on a different odor based on who is smelling it. Would anyone like to share what they smell?”

 

That was kind of a stupid question, in Lapis’ opinion. Who would want to just outright declare their secret desire in a room full of students?

 

But already she saw that several hands had gone up, most of them belonging to Gryffindors. She scoffed internally—this was why Gryffindors always got on her nerves. There was a difference between bravery and stupidity.

 

“I smell peaches, laundry detergent and…pointe shoes,” said Amethyst, her face darkening, her gaze focused stubbornly on a point off to the side of the room. _That was subtle_ , thought Lapis as she watched Pearl’s eyes widen, for once not fixed on Professor Quartz, and her cheeks go slightly pink from her desk in the front of the room as Amethyst glared determinedly at the wall.

 

Garnet went next, saving Amethyst from further embarrassment, though Pearl’s big blue eyes remained faceted on the Latina. “Oak, cologne and broomstick polish,” said Garnet shortly. Once again, Lapis rolled her eyes. Garnet had just described herself.

 

Lapis was surprised when the next voice came from next to her. “I…I smell broomstick polish as well,” Violet Periwinke began, her voice quiet as usual but remarkably steady, “but also the smell of new shoes, and…and lemon mint.” She flushed darkly, and Lapis imagined that if she could see Violet’s eyes (they were nearly always covered by her thick bangs), they would be determinedly piercing into a certain slim, blonde Slytherin seeker a few tables over, who was currently acting as if she hadn’t heard Violet speak. However, the rigid state of her spine and luminous blush indicated that the usually snotty, blustering Audrey Saffron had indeed heard every word.

 

“What about you, Miss Lazuli?”

 

Lapis blinked, her eyes fixing back on the front of the room, where Professor Quartz stood smiling encouragingly at her. Lapis narrowed her eyes slightly. She knew there was a reason she didn’t like Professor Quartz.

 

Steeling herself, she decided that she wasn’t going to give Quartz the pleasure of seeing her fumble. “I smell grass, parchment and shampoo,” she said, her voice loud and clear as she stared directly at Professor Quartz with a bland expression. Then, surly, “Why don’t you ask Diamond what she smelled, since she was so eager to answer your question?”

 

From the front of the room, she saw said girl stiffen and whip around to shoot her a glare, though it was rather ineffective considering the red stain of her cheeks. “I smell fresh air, lilacs and…and sea water,” Peridot snapped, not waiting for the professor’s gaze to turn to her, her stubborn pride, as Lapis had anticipated, outweighing her embarrassment. Lapis had not, however, anticipated her answer, and she sat, shocked, staring at Peridot, whose blush deepened before the messy-haired Slytherin whipped around to face the front once more.

 

The rest of the lesson passed in a blur for Lapis, who remained in a kind of stupor until the bell rang, Peridot’s snappish reply repeating over and over in her mind.

* * *

 

  _Fresh air, lilacs, and sea water._

It was obvious that she’d been talking about Lapis. If her answer wasn’t obvious enough, the way she couldn’t meet Lapis’ eyes even now as they filed out of the classroom an hour later, said everything.

 

It was when Peridot attempted to brush past her, head lowered as if to disguise herself (as if that hair didn’t give her away a mile off), that Lapis decided it was time to take action.

 

“ _Nyaa_!” Peridot vocalized in alarm as Lapis’ arm snapped out with all her speed as the Ravenclaw seeker and her hand latched onto Peridot’s wrist. Lapis ignored her, dragging the short, curvy Slytherin away from the mass of students and beneath deserted archway. Peridot squirmed the whole time, but her awkward, untrained body was no match for Lapis’ slim, athletic build honed by years of Quidditch. “What the hell, Lazuli?!” she raged when Lapis shoved her against the stone wall, easily pinning her.

 

Lapis raised a slightly amused eyebrow. Much like a yappy terrier, Peridot seemed to have no concept of her own size and the situation she was in. A familiar scent hit Lapis’ nostrils like a wave crashing over her body, and she closed her eyes for a second, willing her self-control to keep her from jumping the other girl. It was the same scent she'd just been marinated in for an hour and a half, as she'd known it would be. “You like me, gremlin?” she asked, her tone equal parts cocky and amused.

 

Peridot flushed, but she held herself tall (as tall as she physically could, at least) and faced Lapis’ unreadable expression with determined eyes. “You were the one who made me say it, Lazuli,” she responded, sounding braver than she should be, given her situation.

 

“That’s not what I asked,” Lapis said, drawing closer to Peridot so that she heard the shorter girl take in a sharp breath. “Do. You. Like. Me?”

 

Peridot let out what Lapis interpreted to be a frustrated growl. “So what if I do?” she asked defiantly, her little hands clenching into fists at her sides. “You had to say what you smelled, too,” she added, as if as an afterthought. “Why are you so cocky?”

 

Lapis drew back slightly and folded her arms over her chest, quirking an eyebrow. “Cocky?” she repeated, a small smirk playing over her features. “Tell me, who do I like, then?”

 

Peridot seemed to be rendered speechless for a long moment. Then her eyes finally darted away from Lapis’, apparently unable to meet her gaze any longer. “Unlike _you_ , _some_ people have morals,” she replied, folding her arms over her chest, and unless Lapis was very much mistaken, Peridot was pouting. “I’m not going to embarrass you.”

 

“So you don’t know, then?”

 

“Of course I do!”

 

Lapis drew forward again, bending so that she was nose to nose with Peridot, and enjoyed for a moment the sight of Peridot’s cheeks visibly darkening. “Then I’m saying, tell me who I like,” she said. “Surely a Slytherin has no problem revealing someone else’s secrets, anyway?”

 

Peridot seemed to huff. Then, after a long moment, “Jasper.”

 

Lapis blinked. Then she snorted, and, before Peridot’s wide, confused eyes, burst into belly-clutching laughter.

 

“J-Jasper?” she choked between laughs. “That great ugly brute who plays beater on your Quidditch team?”

 

Peridot seemed shocked at Lapis’ reaction. “B-but…but you’re always hanging out with her!” she cried, indignant.

 

Lapis scoffed, straightening. “Because she’s _useful_ ,” she corrected. “She keeps all those stupid boys from fucking after me all the time.” Peridot appeared to be speechless. “And why the hell would that idiot smell like _parchment_?”

 

Peridot frowned. Evidently, that hadn’t occurred to her.

 

Lapis allowed a fond smile to grace her features for a moment. Then she leaned forward once again. “For the smartest student of our year, you’re pretty stupid,” she said bluntly, biting back a grin when Peridot bristled.

 

“How _dare_ you, you _clod_ —”

 

She was cut off by Lapis yanking her forward by her dorky green and silver bow tie and smashing their lips together in a searing kiss worthy of any Slytherin.

 

When she let go, Peridot all but collapsed against her, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in astonishment, blinking up Lapis like a fish out of water. Lapis smirked down at her.

 

“Does that clear it up for you?” she asked, more than a trace of smugness in her voice.

 

Peridot could only nod.

* * *

 

“I _really_ don’t think I should be here.”

 

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Stop being such a nerd, nobody cares,” she replied, tightening the arm that was slung over Peridot’s shoulders. The two were pressed flush against each other on one end of the large, plush sofa in the middle of the Ravenclaw common room. “Besides, you’re not the only one.” She nodded toward a hidden corner at the back of the large room, where Violet Periwinkle was having a quiet, seemingly very personal discussion with Audrey Saffron, who was flushing brilliantly but standing tall nonetheless and, after a moment, reached forward to interlace their fingers. The adorable tenderness of the sight was enough to make even Lapis want to smile goofily.

 

“And I saw Pearl heading out earlier, looking all determined about something,” noted Connie, who was sitting on the end of the sofa not occupied by Lapis and her newly acquired girlfriend.

 

“Good,” Lapis noted. “Watching her ogling Professor Quartz's ass all year was getting nauseating. Maybe a good fuck will shake that wand out from her ass.”

 

“ _Lapis_!” Peridot nearly shrieked, causing the blue-haired girl to wince. “You shouldn’t talk about the Head Girl like that!”

 

Lapis rolled her eyes, then leaned down and bit Peridot’s neck hard enough to illicit a strangled squeak from the Slytherin.

 

“Not in public!” Peridot stammered, red-faced, pushing at Lapis’ chest and glancing at a severely blushing Connie. She was squirming slightly, though, and Lapis grinned ferally.

 

“Then maybe we should go somewhere private~,” she hummed into Peridot’s neck. “Like the Head Girl’s quarters…? I bet she’ll be out pretty late tonight.”

 

Peridot garbled something incoherent as Lapis stood and pulled her to her feet and toward the stairs that led up to Pearl’s room at the very top of the tower that made up the Ravenclaw dormitories.

* * *

 

The next morning, a bird-like shriek would be heard throughout the tower, and various Ravenclaws would report seeing Peridot Diamond, looking as if someone had been throwing minature bludgers at her neck all night, dashing out of the portrait hole, falling flat on her face several times in the attempt, followed by Lapis Lazuli all but sauntering down the stairs grinning like the Kneazel that ate the Canary Cream.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to do an Amortentia piece. But I haven't got the wit in my writing that I wish I did so it's not nearly what I'd like it to be... That said, I hope you all enjoyed this short, fluffy little oneshot! It seems we don't have enough of these in this fandom.
> 
> (Quick note: hopefully it was obvious enough who Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl were. I used their names from my other fanfiction, Stars in a Constellation, but I am aware some of you may not read it. Hopefully my description of them was enough of a hint! I couldn't very well just call them Blue Pearl and Yellow Pearl, unfortunately.)
> 
> Please remember to leave a review! They always make my day! :D


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